Funny Bumper Stickers

[Nate]

My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't!

I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!

Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Don't take life too seriously .......... no one gets out
alive.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!

The proctologist called, they found your head.

Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

Hang up and drive.

If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!

Try not to let your mind wander. It is too small to be out by itself.

Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me.

Guys, just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.

Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

He who hesitates is probably right.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Hit me, I need the money!

Horn broken. Watch for finger.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

[♥Starlene]

I need one like this... For all the wonderful drivers in South Florida...
hehehehe

If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!

[Nate]

I like this one: I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

[lyroc]

Oh, these are sooooo good. I like the proctologist one. We have many jokes about that in this house.

[Nate]

Yeah, I don't think I'm going to touch the proctologist one. Can you wonder why?

[♥Starlene]

Heres some more funny bumper sticker sayings....

"Procrastinate now"

"My Karma ran over my Dogma!!"

"Never drive faster than your angel can fly!!"

"I'd rather be in Samadhi"

"Out of body. Will be back in 15 minutes!"

"Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all its students!"

"Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear."

"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools"

"Vegetarians visualize whirled peas"

[Nate]

Those are some good ones!

[Peace]

oh so many to choose from and not enough CAR! lol.

[saffy]

these are great!! I hardly remember any I hear. I do have one, maybe I'll post sometime.

Nate and Star are good working off each other's comments

[Nate]

We're a regular Martin and Lewis. Or Laural and Hardy. Or....who else is there?

[♥Starlene]

I know you should come to 'Merkia and we can open a comedy-reiki place LOL

[Nate]

'Laugh and Heal'!

[♥Starlene]

Hey, laughter IS the best medicine, right??? I have noticed myself coming to this part of the board often just for a giggle... That can't be bad,,, right???
Ok, off to the gym,,,, I have some more jokes to share later ;-)
Gonna have to catch up with Natie hehehehe

[Peace]

i agree! this is like the best part of the board. i LOVE laughing and joking and all these are so great. lol.

[Nate]

Star, it's not a competition, you don't have to catch up!

Besides, I'm WAY ahead! Hehehehe.

[♥Starlene]

Hehehe I know,,, you are way ahead of me,,,, must mean ur a funny guy hehehe....
I love the jokes though and everyones replies,,, tooo funny.... Hey we must all be pretty funny, huh?? ;-)